6 Terrific Reasons To Never Be Sorry For Saying No
Dear People Pleaser,
You are not every woman. It is ok to say no.
Repeat after me:
"I do not bear the responsibility of constantly satisfying the people in my life"
I used to be a serial people pleaser.
I never said no to anyone.
With that said, if you fall into the category of "people pleaser" saying no can become one of your greatest acts of self care.
First I want to clarify that I am not advocating for telling everyone no just because you don't feel like it. There is a little thing called sacrifice that will come into play when making a decision. I had to check myself about this. Self-care is important but lending to selfishness is not healthy for you or the relationships in your life.
Read on, and I'll get to that in a bit.
1. YOU ARE TIRED OR NOT FEELING WELL
There have been so many times where I was dead tired and someone asked me to come out while I was tired or had a headache (or cramps), and I caved. Then I was miserable the whole time and ended up leaving early in a panic with the sudden urge to be at home.
2. YOU'RE ONLY SAYING YES BECAUSE YOU FELT BAD
This is one of the greatest lessons I've learned in life:
Saying yes because you feel bad is not a good enough reason to agree to something.
This is the type of yes behavior that leads to people manipulating you because they know they can. m
3. YOU ARE NOT IN A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN EXPEND THE MENTAL ENERGY
A good friend asks for help with an issue and wanting to help, you quickly jump in.
Soon you find out that you have no way to help, no advice to give, and end up burdened because you want to provide assistance and cannot.
Try to offer support in ways that you can. Refer them to someone that may be able to help instead.
4. YOU ARE ENABLING BAD BEHAVIOR
Your broke friend asks to borrow money to buy leggings she doesn't need.
It's ok to say no.
In a situation where a friend or family member is engaging in bad or destructive behavior, let them know you disagree and decline to offer assistance.
5. YOU LEGITIMATELY DON'T HAVE THE TIME
I've said yes to some things just because I felt bad.
Then I quickly realized that I did not have the time or energy to provide the level of commitment required to complete a task or favor. In this case, you end up resenting the person for asking you and they end up resenting the job that you did. No one wants this.
Just say no.
Let me be clear, there are things that you make time for. Your friends will need you sometimes and that is ok. The generic "I'm too busy" response may be a cop out for simply not feeling like helping someone.
6. IT GOES AGAINST YOUR BELIEFS
If someone is asking you to participate in something that you don't believe in, just say no. There is no reason for you to make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of avoiding conflict.
THE CASE FOR SAYING YES
On the flip side, it is healthy to say yes in situations you may not want to.
Saying no out of laziness or just because you "don't want to" may not be the best option.
Try asking yourself whether it will benefit the other person or you.
Have you struggled with telling people no? Let me know in the comments below and share the image on Instagram to help out a friend!